re ......... tardiness

Get it? Re ..... tardiness. Ah hahaha.

eye patch tuesdays

Don't you HATE when this happens?

butt crack of dawn

Seriously, who gets up early enough to know wtf that saying means?

stupid waiter

I, personally, prefer chicken and stars in those little cups. Mmmm mmmm good.

ted the twisted torturer

Remember kids! Don't forget to twist that shit!

the cry

This is why emo radio stations will never make it.

velocity is a bitch

I am sorry to say that this is based on a true story--and yes, I am the one w/ the scar...

vice presidential debate summary

I think this about sums it up. Anyone care to add anything they saw?

shy bladder

Of course this method could also result in a black eye--or maybe even a wink!

dont annoy your pets

... because one day they might freaking SNAP!

attention whore

Everybody knows one.

xbox live maintenance

I foresee this being the fate of millions of children arriving home from school today. Not to mention the tens of millions of grown men arriving home from work ... myself included.

present for santa

Moral of the Story: Giving is WAY better than receiving.

baby names

FYI, the google "will my baby be gay" test is easy.

1. Google "name is gay" and note the number of search results (remember, quotes are important when searching terms).
   
2. Google "name is NOT gay" and and note the number of search results.
   
3. Compare results.
   

NB: If you really use this method to make a decision as to what you name your child, you're a moron.

operation soda thief

I mean, really, who drinks somebody else's soda? Damn all of you soda stealers out there! Damn you all!

pipe dream

Link: Best Mario Comic EVER!

lyrics are touchy issues

My mom, to this day, still believes that the lyrics to Chumbawamba's Tub Thumping are "...kissing the night away...". Nobody wants to know the horrible, horrible truth about their favorite songs.

every office has a disgruntled dan

Don't for a minute think that this is the last time you'll see Disgruntled Dan featured here on Twisted Meeting Minutes.

not so magic

Food for Thought: I wonder how God packed all of those squiggly-line organs in that stick figure body.

update: Apparently nobody else has seen the magic school bus, here's a youtube video in case you care to delve in to why this is funny...

california raisins DO rock!

Useless trivia of the day:

• California Raisins were created in 1987 for the California Raisin Advisory Board. (wiki)
  
• Metallica was formed in 1981. (wiki)
  

GTA

R2, R2, L1, R2, LEFT, DOWN, RIGHT, UP, LEFT, DOWN, RIGHT, UP

it's like taking baby from a candy

I believe that "taking baby from a candy" is a much better expression than the one we are all familiar with. It implies that the act which you are referring to is extremely easy. Don't get me wrong, in my experience taking candy from a baby has always been a breeze--but sometimes their little fingers don't like to pry open and the screaming is slightly uncomfortable. The only difficulty you may have with taking a baby from candy is if the candy in question is gum, as gum (had it been previously chewed) could temporarily glue the infant to a surface.

pencil javelin

I am just now realizing that this is my second comic that features pencils as deadly objects. Pencils are tools of Satan*.



*: I googled this phrase, wondering if it was original or not. To my dismay, it has been used one other time on the entire internet. A greater coincidence (put on your tinfoil hats) is that it was used in a comment on another comic strip site.

foreign policy

Palin foreign policy experience as I see it.

mechanical pencil accident

... click!

good intentions

Ignore the fact that there is no atmosphere on the moon and this couple would clearly suffocate and swell in to giant Macy's Thanksgiving Day human-balloons.

leo's bugs

Haha. Get it? You can tell it's Leo because that's how Leo says "what the hell". I'm not quite sure why he's jumping around joyously disbursing bugs, though. Oh wait... that's right.

connection pooling

Don't forget to close your connections, kids!

peeps

The world becomes a much more amusing place when you start taking things more literally.

olympics

Thanks for the quote, David.

new turtles

The new TMNT are so ... watered down ... from what I grew up with.

fiber

Have you had your Fiber One today?

early settlers

Haha. "Hayay!" Just say it. It makes it so much funnier.

time

You know we've all been there.

add meeting

It would be so cool to be a ninja.

greener pastures

This one speaks for itself.